Billy Blaze toils in his backyard workshop, busily constructing his latest invention: the Photachyon Transceiver. Put in simple words, it is an instantaneous radio - point to anywhere in the galaxy, and you can pick up a signal as if you were right there. After picking up a lot of bad alien sitcoms, Billy hears a strange message, spoken in the language of Omnispeak that the Vorticons taught him.Brrzzz.giggg.oment of great triumph.frzzt.ast the Milky Way will be.huzzzzz.terly destroyed.pyuneeeeeeg.can stop us now. We will remake the galaxy in the name of the Gannalech. Power to our race! Power to the Shikadi!
Then the radio is silent.
"So the Shikadi are planning on destroying the galaxy, huh?" thinks Billy to himself. "Sounds like a job for...COMMANDER KEEN!
Billy once again dons his brothers football helmet, contemplating three questions:
Climbing into the Bean-with-Bacon Megarocket's cockpit, Billy sets up the launch sequence for Gnosticus IV, the home of the Gnosticenes, guardians of the Oracle. They owe him a favor, and he needs to get some questions answered. The launch sequence begins.
"Suppertime Billy!" announces his mom as she walks out to the workshop.
"Ah, nuts!" spouts Billy. He realizes that there's not enough time to stop the sequence and cover the ship! Thinking quickly, he pulls out his Neural Stunner, points it at the door, and waits. One "Zzzzap!" later and his mom is frozen in the doorway.
"Whew," says Keen
"Honey? What's the matter?" says Billy's dad, coming out the back door.
"Double Nuts!" mutters Billy. He peeks past his mom, takes aim and.
Once at Gnosticus IV, a Council Page runs up to him.
"Oh Captain Keen!" he begins.
"That's Commander Keen," corrects Billy.
"The Shikadi were here, and they kidnapped the Council members and sent them to the Shadowlands far to the west."
"They didn't kill them?" Keen asks.
"Impossible. They are immortal," says the Page. "So they just made sure they weren't available to activate the Oracle."
"Well I'll just go get them," Keen says, turning with heroic determination.
"Um, but Captain Keen, they also left a bunch of horrible creatures and traps to guard them," says the Council Page.
"Well, I'll just go get them CAREFULLY, then," Keen says over his shoulder.
Keen turns to walk out the door, stops, turns and addresses the page.
"And if you call me Captain Keen again, I'm taking you with me."
Keen boldly heads out the door as the page mutters, "Sorry."
Commander Keen hops in his Bean-with-Bacon Megarocket and heads for the Shadowlands.
First off, check out the Goodbye Galaxy! Manual
Wow, this is really an impressive way to activate this monolith of ancient wisdom.
Everyone be silent. The oracle is about to speak.
Hmmm. Maybe it's got a dead battery or something.
The Shikadi are a race of shadow beings from the far side of the galaxy. They are building an Armageddon Machine and are planning to blow up the galaxy with it, then rebuild it to suit their needs. They live on the third planet of the Korath system, which is 71, 000 light-years from Gnosticus IV. The Armageddon Machine is almost complete. And this is what they look like.
These Shikadi are toast! Thanks for the scoop, Oracle. I'm outta here. I hope it doesn't rain on my folks..
Meanwhile, back on Earth.
To be continued.
Commander Keen 4: Secret of the Oracle (shareware episode)
Goodbye Galaxy! Manual