Commander Keen: Keen Dreams

The Story

We find young Billy discussing matters of paramount importance with his mother.

"I just saved the Earth mom," said Billy. "I don't have to eat vegetables."

"Sure, dear," said Billy's mom. "I bet Neil Armstrong never complained about HIS mashed potatoes."

"I bet Neil Armstrong never traveled to Vorticon VI and defeated the Grand Intellect, either," Billy mumbled at his plate. He sat there, legs dangling, staring at his offensive, starch-laden foe.

After a pointed remark about the quality of the mashed potatoes, Billy was sent to his room.

"Stupid Vegetables," he grumbled, his eyelids growing heavy.

Soon Billy was fast asleep.

Suddenly he woke up, and his bed was atop a hill. On either side of the bed were giant potatoes wearing metal helmets and holding bayonets.

"Come with us Captain Keen," said the first.

"You've been brought here by the dream machine," said the second.

"Boobus Tuber our king and boss-"

"-is now your master, come with us!"

Billy frowned, grabbed his football helmet of his bedpost, and started to put it on.

"First of all, spuds," Billy said pushing down on the helmet. "That's COMMANDER Keen. Second of all, who do you think you are?"

"We're Tater Troopers it's plain to see," said the first.

"So get-"

Keen reached under his pillow and retrieved his Vorticon Hyperpistol. He moved it from "Stun," passed "Disrupt," all the way up to "Fry to delicate brown."

"How about a walk on the fried side boys?" Keen said.

Two BZZAPs later, Keen pouted.

"Aw nuts. My Hyperpistol's empty," he said.

Just then, a child in chains ran up to him.

"Keen, oh, Keen, oh, Captain Keen! Save us from the Dream Machine!" he said.

"That's COMMANDER Keen," the young genius corrected.

"Whatever. Save us!" said the child.

So Billy hopped out of his bed and started on his quest to defeat King Boobus Tuber and destroy the Dream Machine!

Hints and Tips

• You can jump through logs by holding Down, and pressing the Jump button.
• If you miss an enemy you are trying to shoot, you can recollect your Flower Power shots for a short period of time (the same is true for Boobus Bombs).
• You can stand on the Blue Mosquitoes, but not the black ones.
• If you see the message 'Boobus Bombs Near!' when the level is loading, find and collect them. You need at least 12 to defeat King Boobus Tuber.
• If there isn't a cement wall in your way, go against the right wall, AND DIE! If Commander Keen's head goes through the right edge of the screen, you'll complete the level (and if you miss, too bad for you).

The Ending

Yes! Boobus Tuber's hash-brown-like remains rained down from the skies as Commander Keen walked up to the Dream Machine. He analyzed all the complex controls and readouts on it, then pulled down a huge red lever marked "On/Off Switch." The machine clanked and rattled, then went silent. He had freed all the children from their vegetable-enforced slavery! Everything around Keen wobbled in a disconcerting manner, his eyelids grew heavy, and he fell asleep.

Billy woke up, looking around the room, the early morning sun shining in his face. Nothing. No vegetables to be seen. Was it all just a dream?

Billy's mom entered the room.

"Good morning, dear. I heard some news on TV that you'd be interested in," she said, sitting by him on the bed.

"What news?" Billy asked, still groggy.

"The President declared today National `I hate Broccoli' Day. He said kids are allowed to pick one vegetable today, and they don't have to eat it."

"Aw, mom, I'm not afraid of any stupid vegetables," Billy said. "But if it's okay with you, I'd rather not have any french fries for awhile."

THE END

Download

Commander Keen 3.5: Keen Dreams (shareware version)

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